Making Out Like a Bandit

Every time I go to self-checkout, I feel like a bandit. I don’t know why but I guess it’s because I often wonder how many people try to sneak grocery items by without the store noticing or I wonder how many people actually get away with it.  I heard a woman walked out of a grocery store, just the other day, with a basket full of groceries she didn't pay for.  But somehow she got caught.

I don’t steal, so I’m not the proper individual to try to evaluate that type of situation.  I scanned my items, paid and went on my way.  As I was walking out, the security alarm thing beeped and rudely told me to go back to the cashier.  I did what I was told and walked up to the cashier in charge of self-checkout—what a cake job, by the way.  She was, of course, chatting with her big grocery chain BFF and another fellow chatter and they paid no attention to me, the valued customer.  I was actually doing what I was told, following the rules and she was getting paid at least nine dollars an hour to yap.  I walked up to the collection of incompetent blabbermouths and they looked at me like I was a band geek coming to sit at their cheerleader table for lunch.   

I said “The security alarm beeped when I walked out.”  Blank stares.  “Do you need to check me or something?”  Crickets.  “Ok then.”  Said I, as I rolled my eyes and walked out.  This blows me away and it’s definitely not the first time it’s happened.  It seems like people can really get away with shoplifting.  I am in no way condoning shoplifting, but it seems pretty simple to get away with.  

I was at a department store once and purchased a comforter set.  I paid for it, all $300 of it and began to leave the premises.  I had purchased it on the 3^rd floor and walked out on the 1^st.  When the voice told me to go see the cashier, I headed that way.  One of the individuals, hard working, I’m sure, on the 1^st floor told me, “Oh, it’s okay, go ahead.”  

This person did not know that I had purchased this item.  Perhaps I am uninformed regarding this matter, but I thought they pay some video surveillance rent-a-cop to sit and watch cameras all day and I bet he wouldn’t be able to view every single activity in every angle of the store for his whole shift.  I’m sure he’d get a tweet or text message that would distract him for a few seconds.  
I am willing to bet that said rent-a-cop has a bitchy, sex-withholding wife at home who can’t find their junkie, delinquent son.  Probably the son that showed up late to the sandwich shop that day I had my coupon.  It is plausible that said rent-a-cop actually eats food or takes a drink of liquid at some point throughout the day.  It is impossible, to think that someone can know the entire goings on in one large 3 story store with 12 departments all by his lonesome.  All this assuming really makes me feel that shoplifting is easy unless someone actually sees you do it.  However, if someone sees it happen, that means confrontation and in our twisted, technological world, confrontation is not going to happen unless you can arrest someone via text message or social network.